Strength of Struggle Q&A #24: Busy All Day, Going Nowhere

Q:

Dear Rabbi,

I’m juggling a few different things right now and I feel completely stuck.

I have a small business that’s not fully running yet because I’m waiting on clarity with my partner. I have another side product that brings in a bit of money but isn’t consistent. I also have content and ideas I actually enjoy working on, and some potential business opportunities that could turn into real income if I push them.

Every day I sit down and I don’t know what to focus on.

If I work on one thing, I feel like I’m ignoring something else important. If I try to do everything, I end up doing very little of anything.

Part of me just wants to pick something and go all in, but I keep second-guessing myself. What if I choose wrong? What if I waste time?

I feel busy all day, but I’m not really moving forward.

How do I get out of this?

— Yosef

---

A:

Dear Yosef,

You’re not stuck because you don’t know what to do.

You’re stuck because you’re trying to keep too many doors open at once.

When everything feels important, nothing gets real attention.

תפסת מרובה לא תפסת, תפסת מועט תפסת
“If you try to grab too much, you end up with nothing. If you take a smaller amount, you actually hold onto it.” (Yoma 80a)

When you try to grab everything, you end up holding nothing. You’re feeling that.

There’s a fear here. If you choose one thing, it means you’re not choosing the others. And that feels risky.

“What if I pick the wrong thing?”
“What if something else would have worked better?”

So instead of choosing, you stay in this middle space where you’re “working on everything.”

It feels responsible, but it’s not. It’s just a more comfortable way of avoiding commitment.

It’s like driving for hours, turning in every direction so you don’t miss anything…
and forgetting where you were trying to get to in the first place.

So here’s what I would suggest. Not in theory. Practically.
1. Stop trying to solve your whole life right now.
You don’t need to figure out the perfect path. You need to take a step.
2. Pick one thing you can move on immediately, without waiting on anyone else.
Not the best thing. Not the forever thing. Just the thing that is actually in your control.
3. Define one clear outcome for the next few days.
Something measurable.
Not “work on it,” but something like:
“I’m going to reach out to 10 people,”
or
“I’m going to set up 3 meetings.”
Give it a short window.
Even just for today. One day at a time.
You’re not marrying this decision. You’re testing it.

The voice in your head that says,
“Maybe I should also do this… and this…”
that’s not clarity.

That’s the same pattern pulling you back into being scattered.

You don’t need more options right now. You need one direction.

Close a few doors for now, not because they’re wrong, but because you can’t walk through all of them at once.

Pick one. Move.

Then reassess from a place of progress, not from a place of spinning.

You’re not behind. You’re just spread too thin.