Strength of Struggle Q&A #20: When Things Are Good but I’m Still Waiting for Something to Go Wrong

Q:

Dear Rabbi,

Baruch Hashem things in my life are going well right now. My family is healthy, work is stable, and overall things feel calm.

But I notice something about myself that bothers me. When things are good, instead of enjoying it I start worrying that something bad is going to happen.

I catch myself thinking, “This isn’t right. Something is going to go wrong soon.”

It almost feels like I’m bracing for something bad to happen.

I know it’s wrong and I don’t like how it feels, but I don’t know what to do. Help!

- Yossi

A:

Deat Yossi,

It sounds like even when life is calm, your mind does not fully let you relax.

When someone has lived through stress, responsibility, or difficult periods, the mind sometimes learns to stay on alert. Even when things are calm, it keeps scanning for the next problem.

In psychology this is often called catastrophizing. The mind assumes that calm cannot last, so it prepares for a future danger that has not actually arrived.

The Torah speaks about this tendency in a different way. The Torah warns a person not to forget Hashem when life becomes comfortable.

📖 Devarim 8:11

הִשָּׁמֶר לְךָ פֶּן תִּשְׁכַּח אֶת ה׳ אֱלֹקֶיךָ

“Be careful lest you forget Hashem your G-d.”

Usually people read this as a warning about becoming arrogant when life is good. But that is not the only message. The Torah is also teaching that when life is stable, our job is to recognize the goodness that Hashem is giving in the present moment, “lest you forget Hashem your G-d.”

The Chovos HaLevavos explains in Shaar HaBitachon that a person who truly relies on Hashem develops inner calm because he understands that whatever happens in the future is also under Hashem’s guidance.

This does not mean pretending that difficulties never come. It means understanding that worrying in advance does not protect us from them.

Practically speaking, this means learning to redirect the mind when it begins inventing future disasters.

Instead of asking, “What if something goes wrong?” a person can ask a different question: “What is actually happening right now?”

If right now there is health, stability, and peace, that itself is a gift from Hashem that deserves to be noticed.

A man once came to Rabbi Levi Yitzchak of Berditchev worried about what might happen in the coming year. He listed many possible problems that could occur.

The Rebbe said, “But none of those things have happened yet. Why are you carrying the burden before Hashem gives it to you?”

Bitachon, trust in Hashem, is not only about surviving difficulties. It is also about allowing oneself to live inside the goodness that Hashem is giving today.

The future belongs to Hashem.

The present moment is where a person is meant to live.

May Hashem give you the ability to recognize the blessings that are already in your life and the trust to leave tomorrow in His hands.