CBT ToolTalk #59: When the Mind Says “What’s the Point?”

Many people are walking around these days carrying a quiet weight.

Someone is trying to keep a family running while work feels unstable. Someone else is stuck in a difficult relationship dynamic that keeps repeating. Another person is trying to grow, to change habits, to move forward, but keeps slipping back into the same patterns.

After a while the mind begins to say things like:

“I’m stuck.”
“This is never going to change.”
“What’s the point of trying?”

Those thoughts feel very convincing when they show up, especially after disappointment, fatigue, or repeated struggle.

Understanding Cognitive Restructuring

One of the core ideas in CBT is called cognitive restructuring.

The idea is simple but powerful: our thoughts shape our emotional reactions. The event itself is only part of the story. The interpretation we give the event determines how we feel and what we do next.

Between the event and the emotion sits a thought.

The Nesivos Shalom explains that you can have two people living exactly the same lives. The same family structure, the same community, the same environment, yet they live in completely different worlds. One lives with Emunah (faith) and the other does not. Even though their external realities may look identical, their inner worlds are very different.

The same is true about all of our thoughts.

Two people can face the same situation. One feels defeated. The other feels challenged but capable. The difference is not the event. It is the thought that formed around it.

Cognitive restructuring means learning to notice the thoughts running through our mind and asking whether they are accurate or distorted.

CBT teaches us to slow down and examine the thought.

Is it accurate?
Is it distorted?
Is it helping me or trapping me?

As Mishlei teaches:

“כִּי כְמוֹ שָׁעַר בְּנַפְשׁוֹ כֶּן הוּא.”

“As a person thinks within himself, so he becomes.” (Mishlei 23:7)

That means the way we think is not just commentary on life. It actively shapes the direction of our inner world.

Changing the Thought

When we learn to challenge distorted thoughts, the emotional outcome begins to change.

“I’m stuck” can become:

“Is it really true that I’m stuck? This is hard, but I can take one step.”

“This will never work” can become:

“I haven’t found the solution yet.”

“What’s the point?” can become:

“What is the next small thing I can do?”

This is not pretending everything is fine. It is simply refusing to let distorted thinking dictate the direction of our emotions.

The situation itself may not change immediately. But the emotional direction shifts. And that shift opens the door to better decisions and more constructive action.

🔧 Getting Practical

The next time you feel discouraged, try this simple exercise:

1. Identify the thought running through your mind.

2. Ask yourself whether it is a fact or an interpretation.

3. Replace it with a more balanced and honest thought.

You are not trying to force positivity. You are aiming for clarity.

Because once the thought begins to change, the emotional direction of the entire situation can begin to change as well.

Final Thought

You are not your thoughts.

You are the one guiding them.

Do not give authority to the voice that says “I’m stuck” or “I can’t change.” Instead, allow yourself to listen to the part of you that wants to see things differently.