CBT ToolTalk #43: Will Hashem Forgive Me on Yom Kippur?

As Yom Kippur comes close, many of us feel a heavy question in our hearts:

“Will Hashem really forgive me? Maybe I’ve sinned too much. Maybe I’ve failed too often. Maybe it’s too late.”

This isn’t just a religious question - it’s a cognitive distortion. It’s called all-or-nothing thinking and catastrophic guilt: the false belief that because I’ve stumbled, I am unforgivable.

But Torah teaches the opposite: forgiveness is not only possible - it is promised.

Vayikra 16:30:

“כִּי בַּיּוֹם הַזֶּה יְכַפֵּר עֲלֵיכֶם… לִפְנֵי ה' תִּטְהָרוּ”

“For on this day He will atone for you… before Hashem you shall be purified.”

And in the Rosh Hashanah Machzor (based on Midrash, Koheles Rabbah):

“מְחַכֶּה הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא לְתְּשׁוּבָה עַד יוֹם מִיתָתוֹ שֶׁל אָדָם.”

“Hashem waits for a person’s teshuva until the day of his death.”

The message is crystal clear: Hashem never gives up on us. The thought that He won’t forgive is not Torah - it’s a distortion of guilt.

The Slonimer Rebbe (Nesivos Shalom, Yom Kippur) teaches that Yom Kippur is not about creating forgiveness from scratch - it’s about uncovering the eternal bond between a Jew and Hashem, which was never broken. Our sense of being cut off is the illusion; the truth is we are always connected.

guilt can make us believe a false narrative. Teshuva means coming back to reality - both spiritual and psychological.

Practical Teshuva Tool - Rambam’s Four Steps

Overwhelm makes teshuva feel impossible. The Rambam gives us a step-by-step program - the Torah’s own CBT protocol. Instead of taking on everything, choose one thing and walk through these four stages:

עזיבת החטא - Stop. Pause the action or habit. In CBT, this is behavioral interruption.

חרטה - Regret. Feel healthy remorse - not self-hatred, but recognition: “This isn’t who I want to be.”

וידוי - Verbalize. Say it in vidui: “Hashem, I did this, and I regret it.” Naming the act breaks its hold.

קבלה על העתיד - Commit. Make one small, realistic resolution for the future.

This turns teshuva into something practical and manageable - one step at a time, not crushing overwhelm.

The thought “Hashem won’t forgive me” is just that - a thought. Not truth.

The truth is that Hashem Himself promises forgiveness, waits patiently for our teshuva until our last day, and purifies us like a loving Father. The guilt may feel real, but the reality is greater: you are wanted, loved, and able to return.

What is one small, specific area where you can walk through Rambam’s four steps this Yom Kippur?

And this year - allow yourself believe Hashem’s forgiveness is real.