CBT ToolTalk #11: What’s Holding You Back: The Procrastination Mindset

Procrastination can feel like a heavy burden, draining our energy. It hinders our ability to achieve and feel productive. You have a project to finish, an errand to take care of, some task that requires effort or just seems too difficult (ever pick up a Yom Kippur machzor? Just seeing how thick it is with the thought of 25 hours fasting is enough to overwhelm anyone). Perhaps It seems too big and impossible. “Now’s not the time, maybe later” and we push it off. In the end we can end up feeling stress, anxiety, shame, regret, guilt and/or a sense of unease. All of which often lead to chas v’shalom (G-d forbid) low self-esteem.

Our yetzer hara (evil inclination) wants nothing more than to push us away from “accomplishing”. By recognizing where it’s coming from and taking practical steps we can overcome and get things done.

What’s the Source?

Procrastination often comes from negative thought patterns and emotional triggers. Let’s break it up into three categories.

Inner-critic factors:

Fear of Failure: The dread of not meeting expectations or making mistakes.

Perfectionism: The all-or-nothing belief that a task must be flawless before starting.

Imposter Syndrome: Feeling like a fraud or not deserving of success.

Fear of Success: Ironically, fear of the responsibilities or challenges that come with success can lead to procrastination.

Low Self-Esteem: Doubting your ability to complete a task successfully. “I’ll never understand the gemara, I’ll never have the proper kavana (intent) during davening, I can’t help them, I can’t even seem to take care of myself…”

Emotional factors:

Boredom: Finding the task uninteresting or repetitive.

Overwhelm: Feeling swamped by the task's magnitude.

Anxiety (catastrophizing): Worrying about the outcome or potential negative consequences. (see article above)

Lack of Motivation: Feeling uninspired or disconnected from the task's purpose. “I know I’m supposed to learn more, daven more, do more chesed but I’m just not feeling ‘connected’”

Behavioral factors:

Reward Sensitivity: Prioritizing short-term rewards over long-term goals.

Time Management Issues: Poor planning and organization.

Difficulty Getting Started: Overthinking the task or being unsure how to begin.

Procrastination as a Coping Mechanism: Using procrastination to avoid other stressors or unpleasant emotions. “As long as I don’t do it, I can’t get hurt”

Getting it done: Overcoming your procrastination

Taming Your Inner Critic:

Challenge Your Beliefs: Question the negative thoughts that hold you back. Are they truly accurate? Are there alternative perspectives?

Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding. Remember, everyone makes mistakes.

Reframe Your Thinking: Replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations. Focus on your strengths rather than your weaknesses. “I’m still growing. Even the smallest mitzvah is worth something. I might not be able to daven everything properly, but I can start with the first bracha.”

Mastering Your Emotions:

Break It Down: Overwhelming tasks can be paralyzing. Divide large projects into smaller, more manageable steps. Use techniques like the “Pomodoro Technique” (working in focused bursts with short breaks) to improve productivity.

Mindful Moments: Incorporate relaxation techniques like deep breathing or meditation to manage anxiety and stress.

Visualization: Imagine yourself successfully completing tasks. This can boost motivation and reduce anxiety.

Procrastination Journaling: For a week, keep a journal of tasks you procrastinate on. Note the reasons behind the delay and any triggers or emotional responses.

Find Your Why: Connect with the deeper purpose behind your tasks. Understanding why you're doing something can boost motivation. “I’m still growing. I want to do good, and I can take small steps in my growth that will strengthen my connection and Emunah (faith) in Hashem.”

Taking Action:

Prioritize and Plan: Create a schedule or to-do list to organize your tasks. Focus on the most important tasks first.

Eliminate Distractions: Create a dedicated workspace free from interruptions.

Reward Yourself: Celebrate small wins to stay motivated. Create a reward system by setting achievable goals and identifying the reward.

Create a Dedicated Workspace: Designate a specific area for work to minimize distractions.

Establish a Routine: Create a daily or weekly schedule that includes time for tasks, breaks, and relaxation. “I’ll start small, one step and a time and take it from there”

Getting Practical:

Take something that you have been procrastinating with and:

Identify what’s holding you back based on the “What’s the Source?” list above and write it down. (The list is not exhaustive, so if you have something else, feel free to include that) This list could include more than one item.

Use at least one of the tools from “Getting It Done” that would most effectively address the procrastination.

Remember, It's Okay to Not Be Perfect

While these strategies can significantly improve your productivity, it's essential to remember that it's okay to not be perfect. Everyone procrastinates at times. The goal is to reduce its frequency and impact. Celebrate small victories and be patient with yourself as you develop new habits.

And of course, it’s always a good idea to share your struggles. Talk to a friend, family member, rabbi or therapist about your procrastination challenges. Sharing your experiences can provide support and accountability.