CBT ToolTalk #1: The Inner Critic - Identifying Negative Thoughts (Part 1)

Have you ever caught yourself thinking unhelpful things? That nagging voice in your head that brings you down? That's your inner critic, and we all have one. Whether you're on a journey of self-improvement or want to help someone else, the first step is to become aware of these thoughts.

Shlomo Hamelech reminds us, “כי כאשר יחשב בלבו כן הוא" “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he...” (Mishlei 23:7). Our thoughts have a powerful impact on our lives.

Let's look at a real-life example. I run a small eyeglasses business from home. Last week a customer (let’s call him Reuven) forgot his prescription. Under his breath, I heard him mutter harshly, "I left my prescription at home, I'm so stupid!"

Most of us don't speak our inner critic's messages aloud like Reuven did. But it's important to pay attention to what that voice is saying!

Here are three ways to catch your inner critic in action:

The "Hot Thought" Technique Exercise: Think about a recent situation that made you feel down. What was the first thought that popped into your head? That's often your inner critic chiming in.

"Looking in the Mirror" Exercise: Imagine your inner critic as a separate person standing in front of you. What does it look like? How does it act? What's it saying to you? Giving your inner critic a form can help you see it more clearly and challenge its negativity.

Catching Automatic Thoughts: Throughout the day, especially when you're feeling low, pay attention to your thoughts. Keeping a journal can be helpful for recording these "automatic thoughts." Over time, you might see patterns and recognize the inner critic's themes

Getting Practical:

Pick one of these tools and try it out! For exercises 1 and 2, find a quiet place with no distractions (put your phone away!) to get the best results. You might not be able to hear that inner voice right away so be patient and give yourself some dedicated listening time.

Remember, becoming aware of your inner critic is the first step to managing it. Stay tuned for Part 2, where we'll learn how to challenge those negative thoughts!